Foster Parents

 After going through what we experienced with Elainah, we decided not to get pregnant again. Having a child in the NICU is stressful for the baby and the entire family. 

Around when Elainah was two, I forget how exactly but, I got the idea of becoming foster parents in my head. We wanted to extend our family by fostering to adopt. Before and during training we learned how this is actually more difficult and then realized how reunification is always the primary goal. We were fine with that. We learned valuable information during training and at that point, I really wanted to help kids who needed someone to care for them. 

We got licensed fairly quickly and by October 2018, we were licensed for 2 children 0-5. We did not get a call for several months, even then it was one that wouldn’t work out for our family in another county. 

We ended up having 4 placements from 2018-today. I wish we could help more but we are limited on space. Plus it is stressful and all unknown at times. I have zero regrets, just wish more were also willing to help. 

Story of Elainah Jane

A few years after we had Ryah, we decided to try for another baby. We found out on Halloween 2015 that we were pregnant. When you have antibodies built up, the beginning of the pregnancy is pretty normal until you hit a certain week when they can start checking your blood for your antibody titer levels. I believe mine were high right away so that meant I got to have ultrasounds to try and determine if she was showing signs she was anemic. If I remember correctly (since this was 5 years ago) this started around 18 weeks. She showed signs early so we got to do blood transfusions for her in utero. This was different than with Ryah. She showed signs she was anemic at nearly 30 weeks, not this early, and she ended up not needing a blood transfusion. 

We did 4 blood transfusions over 4-5 weeks. During one of them the doctor was playing FloRida and was singing along to it before he had to really focus. They all went well and the hospital stay after was that day only where 2-3 years before, I was staying in the hospital for 2-4 days after showing signs of Ryah being anemic. The last transfusion went perfectly. My doctor, Dr Bartelsmeyer (who is simply amazing), was assisting another doctor during the transfusion. He had re-checked Elainah’s heart rate and found that it dropped into the 90’s (maybe lower, this is just what I remember.) They rushed into a true emergency mode for an emergency c-section (this was number 4 for me.) They left Nathan with the job of holding the anesthesia (mask) on me. I remember asking Nathan to make sure and call my boss, Dawn. I also remember crying slow tears because I was basically stuck to the table (arms strapped down) and 26 weeks was so early! They kept saying that they needed to get Dad out but no one would relieve Nathan from holding on the anesthesia. Eventually someone took over and led him out. 

Post surgery I was told that I was “oozing” by a nurse. Turns out I lost a lot of blood (that they never really “told” me about.) I think they told Nathan the amount maybe, then I heard the nurses talking about it during shift change. I know it wasn’t a small amount. Luckily I was fine, I didn’t need a blood transfusion or anything. 

When I got to go see Elainah, I was still stuck to the bed and remember the NICU was so hot. I felt nauseous so ended up leaving to finish recovering in my room. Once I was able to get into a wheelchair, I went to visit her. 

When Elainah was born, her eyelids were still fused shut. She was 2.2 pounds. She was just longer than the length of my hand. I, being overly optimistic in most situations, never saw how bad her state was until after she was home. She definitely had a rough road with her lungs, being on various ventilators. We were so lucky to not have her on any types of treatment after she got home. She was in the NICU from 3/26 to (I believe) 7/18. She was over 10 pounds when she came home. 

Balancing work, kids, and a baby in the NICU is extremely difficult. This was something we never wanted to experience again. This is what led us on our foster care journey...

2013-2021 WOW - Busy Life

 I haven't blogged since 2013. I've thought about it many times since then and have even thought of vlogging, but I usually hate how I sound or look on video. Maybe someday!

Since Ryah was born in 2013, we've had Elainah. She was born in 2016, 14 weeks early. She was anemic at birth like Ryah was expected to be due to what happened with Jonathon and me becoming Rh sensitized. Elainah is now 5 years old and will start kindergarten in August. 

We've also had 3 dogs since then. Thor, a Great Dane, Tigger, a rescue, and now we have Moose, a Great Dane puppy. While we don't have Thor and Tigger due to rehoming them (for various issues), we are glad to have Moose and can't wait to get him into puppy training classes. We had a cat, Kit Kat, who was an indoor/outdoor cat but got lost around Thanksgiving one year and never came back. 

We opened up our home to foster care in 2018. We've had three foster children so far and our recent placement has been here for 15 months. We love that he's here and are anxious to see what the future holds.

In my spare time, I have been crafting. Making cups, shirts, and signs using my Cricut machine. I love doing this and wish I had more time to work on these things. I also coach Mylah, Ryah, and Elainah in softball 4 nights a week. On top of this, the girls are doing Girl Scouts, singing lessons, volleyball camp, and will be out of school very soon. We definitely have a busy life!

Back to Blogging - Dear "Friend"

 So while this is my "family" blog that I haven't touched in some time, I'm going to start back at it. There are somethings I want to post on Facebook but really don't want to post to "everyone" but will post to those who will spend the time to read what I have to say. In a way, I'm limiting my audience to those who truly want to listen. :) 

Dear “Friend,” 

When you talk openly to your “friends” about your marital life and then take your wedding ring off when going to a bar, you should expect your friends to tell your husband. I would expect the same to be done to me if I did that (or if it were reversed, being done to me.) I reached out amicably to both parties to suggest you work it out and talk to someone only to be told it was none of my business, even though you were openly talking about it, bashing your spouse days before. However, when you are friends with a couple you don’t just take sides with the one you’ve been friends with longest. When one friend pleads with me to try and get you to talk to them, their spouse, to try to help their marriage you listen to what they have to say. By not listening to them and alienating them simply bc “we’ve been friends longer,” this could put them down a path of depression and potentially suicide. Now, we are no longer Facebook friends by your choice. I just hope that since you won’t talk to me (possibly because you don’t want to be told the truth, because I’ll tell you it - in the nicest way), I hope that you figure things out for yourself. I’m sorry that you felt the need to unfriend me for either a difference of opinion, difference of views of fidelity, things that someone else said, or simply because you can’t be friends with someone who wants to also be friends with your spouse. Maybe someone will screenshot this and send it to you. Or maybe you'll read the blog yourself. I feel you should be wary of your actions and how they may impact the image you care so much about.

Sincerely - Your Friend Sarah