Foster Parents

 After going through what we experienced with Elainah, we decided not to get pregnant again. Having a child in the NICU is stressful for the baby and the entire family. 

Around when Elainah was two, I forget how exactly but, I got the idea of becoming foster parents in my head. We wanted to extend our family by fostering to adopt. Before and during training we learned how this is actually more difficult and then realized how reunification is always the primary goal. We were fine with that. We learned valuable information during training and at that point, I really wanted to help kids who needed someone to care for them. 

We got licensed fairly quickly and by October 2018, we were licensed for 2 children 0-5. We did not get a call for several months, even then it was one that wouldn’t work out for our family in another county. 

We ended up having 4 placements from 2018-today. I wish we could help more but we are limited on space. Plus it is stressful and all unknown at times. I have zero regrets, just wish more were also willing to help. 

Story of Elainah Jane

A few years after we had Ryah, we decided to try for another baby. We found out on Halloween 2015 that we were pregnant. When you have antibodies built up, the beginning of the pregnancy is pretty normal until you hit a certain week when they can start checking your blood for your antibody titer levels. I believe mine were high right away so that meant I got to have ultrasounds to try and determine if she was showing signs she was anemic. If I remember correctly (since this was 5 years ago) this started around 18 weeks. She showed signs early so we got to do blood transfusions for her in utero. This was different than with Ryah. She showed signs she was anemic at nearly 30 weeks, not this early, and she ended up not needing a blood transfusion. 

We did 4 blood transfusions over 4-5 weeks. During one of them the doctor was playing FloRida and was singing along to it before he had to really focus. They all went well and the hospital stay after was that day only where 2-3 years before, I was staying in the hospital for 2-4 days after showing signs of Ryah being anemic. The last transfusion went perfectly. My doctor, Dr Bartelsmeyer (who is simply amazing), was assisting another doctor during the transfusion. He had re-checked Elainah’s heart rate and found that it dropped into the 90’s (maybe lower, this is just what I remember.) They rushed into a true emergency mode for an emergency c-section (this was number 4 for me.) They left Nathan with the job of holding the anesthesia (mask) on me. I remember asking Nathan to make sure and call my boss, Dawn. I also remember crying slow tears because I was basically stuck to the table (arms strapped down) and 26 weeks was so early! They kept saying that they needed to get Dad out but no one would relieve Nathan from holding on the anesthesia. Eventually someone took over and led him out. 

Post surgery I was told that I was “oozing” by a nurse. Turns out I lost a lot of blood (that they never really “told” me about.) I think they told Nathan the amount maybe, then I heard the nurses talking about it during shift change. I know it wasn’t a small amount. Luckily I was fine, I didn’t need a blood transfusion or anything. 

When I got to go see Elainah, I was still stuck to the bed and remember the NICU was so hot. I felt nauseous so ended up leaving to finish recovering in my room. Once I was able to get into a wheelchair, I went to visit her. 

When Elainah was born, her eyelids were still fused shut. She was 2.2 pounds. She was just longer than the length of my hand. I, being overly optimistic in most situations, never saw how bad her state was until after she was home. She definitely had a rough road with her lungs, being on various ventilators. We were so lucky to not have her on any types of treatment after she got home. She was in the NICU from 3/26 to (I believe) 7/18. She was over 10 pounds when she came home. 

Balancing work, kids, and a baby in the NICU is extremely difficult. This was something we never wanted to experience again. This is what led us on our foster care journey...

2013-2021 WOW - Busy Life

 I haven't blogged since 2013. I've thought about it many times since then and have even thought of vlogging, but I usually hate how I sound or look on video. Maybe someday!

Since Ryah was born in 2013, we've had Elainah. She was born in 2016, 14 weeks early. She was anemic at birth like Ryah was expected to be due to what happened with Jonathon and me becoming Rh sensitized. Elainah is now 5 years old and will start kindergarten in August. 

We've also had 3 dogs since then. Thor, a Great Dane, Tigger, a rescue, and now we have Moose, a Great Dane puppy. While we don't have Thor and Tigger due to rehoming them (for various issues), we are glad to have Moose and can't wait to get him into puppy training classes. We had a cat, Kit Kat, who was an indoor/outdoor cat but got lost around Thanksgiving one year and never came back. 

We opened up our home to foster care in 2018. We've had three foster children so far and our recent placement has been here for 15 months. We love that he's here and are anxious to see what the future holds.

In my spare time, I have been crafting. Making cups, shirts, and signs using my Cricut machine. I love doing this and wish I had more time to work on these things. I also coach Mylah, Ryah, and Elainah in softball 4 nights a week. On top of this, the girls are doing Girl Scouts, singing lessons, volleyball camp, and will be out of school very soon. We definitely have a busy life!

Back to Blogging - Dear "Friend"

 So while this is my "family" blog that I haven't touched in some time, I'm going to start back at it. There are somethings I want to post on Facebook but really don't want to post to "everyone" but will post to those who will spend the time to read what I have to say. In a way, I'm limiting my audience to those who truly want to listen. :) 

Dear “Friend,” 

When you talk openly to your “friends” about your marital life and then take your wedding ring off when going to a bar, you should expect your friends to tell your husband. I would expect the same to be done to me if I did that (or if it were reversed, being done to me.) I reached out amicably to both parties to suggest you work it out and talk to someone only to be told it was none of my business, even though you were openly talking about it, bashing your spouse days before. However, when you are friends with a couple you don’t just take sides with the one you’ve been friends with longest. When one friend pleads with me to try and get you to talk to them, their spouse, to try to help their marriage you listen to what they have to say. By not listening to them and alienating them simply bc “we’ve been friends longer,” this could put them down a path of depression and potentially suicide. Now, we are no longer Facebook friends by your choice. I just hope that since you won’t talk to me (possibly because you don’t want to be told the truth, because I’ll tell you it - in the nicest way), I hope that you figure things out for yourself. I’m sorry that you felt the need to unfriend me for either a difference of opinion, difference of views of fidelity, things that someone else said, or simply because you can’t be friends with someone who wants to also be friends with your spouse. Maybe someone will screenshot this and send it to you. Or maybe you'll read the blog yourself. I feel you should be wary of your actions and how they may impact the image you care so much about.

Sincerely - Your Friend Sarah

33 weeks

A lot has happened in the time since my last post. Antibody titer levels went up so I have been getting weekly ultrasounds since mid July. Levels started in zone c which isn't too bad. Zones are A through D with A being the worst. Eventually I went to zone B and around 9/5, they thought Ryah was in zone A. Went through monitoring for 4 days where I was in zone A for 2 days and down to zone B the last 2 days. They decided to expect the worst & go into do a blood transfusion procedure in case Ryah was in fact anemic. Once in the procedure, they numbed my belly & stuck a big needle in. It felt uncomfortable and large! They took several samples from the umbilical cord and got one result that was really low. Because of that sample, they started the blood transfusion while they waited for 2 other sample results. They had injected 20ml of blood when they got the other results back. Those results were normal so they stopped the transfusion.
They had numbed me 3 different times, 3 different needles, and stuck 3 big needles in my belly during this procedure. All to find out that Ryah wasn't anemic and she was doing fine in zone B. My doctor said the blood flow study, which is the ultrasound of her brain, can sometimes be overly sensitive and give a false positive. They were just being extra cautious in our case.
Now, my doctor has decided to move up my scheduled c-section date from 10/28 to 10/23. That's if everything goes OK between now and then, so as long as we stay in zone B.

Update on Pregnancy #3...aka Ryah Ann!

It's been about 3 months since I last posted. I really need to remember to keep up with my blogging! Since my last post, we found out that the Rh level in my blood was not "fixed" with the large number of rhogam shots I had. I am Rh sensitized and have the antibody built up against C. So far everything has been good! We found out that we were having a girl and had to come up with a creative name to match Mylah's name. Luckily, I came across a traveler somehow at work with the name Ryah. I loved it and told Nathan who also loved it. Middle name is Ann after my mom (and sister, Liz). ;) We've been having monthly appointments until next week, then we'll start appointments every 2 weeks. So far my antibody titer levels have not changed much or at all so things have been going smoothly. I've slowly been getting Ryah's room together. I went through Jonathon's clothes and kept stuff that Ryah would be able to wear and got things cleared out to donate/give away. It was hard the first 2 days I was going through stuff. Just thinking how he didn't get to wear certain cute outfits. I believe God has a reason for everything and that someday we'll find out what that reason is... With this pregnancy, I've had the worst back pain I've ever had. I had minor back pain with my other two pregnancies but it hurts to do ANYTHING with this one! I went to a chiropractor last week to be evaluated and go back tomorrow for some relief (hopefully). I also started physical therapy with recommendation from my doctor. I start that today. I was thinking if I do both, I'll for sure get some relief somewhere!!

Our Angel - Jonathon Louis Hennecke

I started writing this post in July 2012. I never finished it-never found time to. It has been sitting in my drafts so I have FINALLY decided to complete it... July 8th 2012 I noticed Jonathon wasn't moving as much as he had been. He was a constant mover around bedtime. As soon as I would change positions (sitting to laying down or laying on side to back) I would do kick counts and he would move 10 times in less than 2 minutes. This Sunday evening, he moved less than 10 times in an hour. I called labor and delivery and they said to monitor it for 30 more minutes to see if it changed any. He moved 5 times in 30 minutes-which is about average for the suggested 10 times in an hour but was not "average" for Jonathon. July 9th 2012 Monday he still wasn't moving as much as normal so I called my doctor's office and they said to come into Labor and Delivery to be monitored. They said his heart rate was fine and near the end of the monitoring session, he started moving around to a more "normal" rate for Jonathon. So I went home glad that I went in and had everything checked out, just in case something was wrong. July 12th 2012 Thursday I went in for my 36 week checkup. I hadn't really felt him move too much (I had only been up for an hour before going to my appointment) plus I was busy getting ready to leave so didn't even think about kick counts. I had also had reassurance that everything was "okay" on Monday that I didn't even consider what was about to be the worst day (and worst next few days) of my life. I was seeing the nurse practitioner, Lisa, since my doctor was on vacation. I told her about the activity since Sunday and how he was moving a lot on Wednesday when I last noticed. I told her that I had a softball game that night so I was busy keeping our team's score and didn't happen to notice anything abnormal with Jonathon's movements. Then she did the normal and started to check for his heart rate. She checked ALL OVER and couldn't find it. For whatever reason, I was still not worried at this point. She said that Dr. Glover would do an ultrasound across the office to have everything checked out. I was still not worried after starting the ultrasound, I thought to myself, "he's going to find the heartbeat and I'll be able to go back to work." He looked around for a while & finally turned the monitor and said something along the lines of, "Here is where we should see the heartbeat...It's not there. I'm sorry." It took a minute to register what he just said. I couldn't understand how my baby could be fine when monitored Monday, even fine when I knew he was moving just the day before! He then explained that he really couldn't tell what happened and that it could be a cord accident or something else-they wouldn't know until we delivered the baby. I was at the doctor by myself so I had to call Nathan to tell him the hardest thing I've ever had to say, "they couldn't find Jonathon's heartbeat," and, "they don't know why and won't know until I have a c-section to deliver him." I called my sisters & my mom and they all came up to the doctor's building to be with me. Once I had a better hold of myself, we left and all went to Nathan's grandma's house. Nathan was riding back from work and I didn't get to see him until then. Once I saw him, we both just cried. We had to tell everyone else in our family that our son was gone and prepare for the c-section the following day, first thing in the morning. We stayed at Nathan's grandma's house so they could watch Mylah for us while we were in the hospital. I got little sleep that night... I went through surgery the next morning, half of the time I was sleeping because whatever they gave me to "relax me" made me go to sleep. We got to hold Jonathon and get pictures with him. He was 7lb 10oz-which would be a healthy sized baby for most people! He was already 21 inches long-if he had gone the next week and 1/2, he may have been longer. He was beautiful and had SO MUCH HAIR! I thought his hairline was crazy because his hair went all the way to his eyebrows. Now, I see that Mylah has a similar hairline in her baby pictures and that she's just as hairy on her back! So they're very much alike in that way. When Dr Glover delivered, he noticed that Jonathon was pale and so was the placenta. He also noticed that the umbilical cord was on the shorter side of normal but wasn't abnormally short. He told us later that he believed that what occurred was a fetal maternal hemorrhage. The majority of Jonathon's blood (possibly close to all) left his body through the umbilical cord into my system. This explained why he was so pale and why the placenta had little blood in it as well. Dr Glover also knew that because of Jonathon having a different blood type, I would have to have Rhogam shots to correct the Rh factor in my blood. Dr Glover conferred with the Midwest Maternal & Fetal Medicine office in St. Louis on how many Rhogam shots I would need. Turns out they were going to go with 11, but in the end I had 12 just to be safe. We had his funeral Monday the 16th. Everything seemed okay until we walked into church for the service, then Nathan & I both bawled our eyes out. We are very thankful/blessed/grateful that Deacon Leon officiated the service and did a GREAT job. It was very meaningful coming from him because he had followed my posts on facebook and been a great influence on me the past year while going through RCIA. He made me laugh & cry which made it a little easier. We buried Jonathon at St Francis Borgia cemetery. He is in his own plot in between Nathan's and my plots. We did that so we'd both be around him...